I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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