I accidentally had phone sex last night
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
