I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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