Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
