happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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