Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
