i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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