He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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