Whod you bang
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i out mim tonsoeep
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
