She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize