I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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