I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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