were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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