You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
