There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
