need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
