Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
