Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
