She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
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I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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