me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
