My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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