i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
