escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dick very happy bro
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize