im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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