i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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