You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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