He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
