awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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