We won't sleep together?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize