you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
