My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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