yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
