i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
