'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
