I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
