4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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