So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I need to align my fucking chakras
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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