Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
