So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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