I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
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There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
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After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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