I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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