I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
