what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
