apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
