I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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