So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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