Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
