I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
