Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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