whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
