why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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