I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
