so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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