1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
