I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
