Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You can't just leave with hair like that
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
