we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
