I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
